Olympian Magazine for demigods
by Audrey.Hawkins
Summary: When demigods and their godly parents like to get in Journalism, this happens. Read at your own risk. Contains bizarre tips and recipes that might take you to the mental hospital. Don't tally dumb ideas and jokes.Rated T because K is kids
1. Foreword

**Hello ther dear reader. THIS IS IMPORTANT. DON'T IGNORE. This is my first attempt at a magazine type thingy. NO FLAMES. I'll keep on posting A/ns here. Not in the chaps. I shouldn't be starting a new fic right now, considering my DEAREST MOM is rocking. But as you all know, this website removes all fonts and all. So it'll be not so inviting. Wish me luck.**

**For most a/n s, I will be dropping hints.**


	2. Awesome Thievery tips and Ways To Annoy

Awesome Thievery Tips And Ways To Annoy And Prank

The Demeter Cabin

By Travis and Connor Stolls, with the help of Hermes.

Hi, our awesome readers. We are Travis *Bows like a gentleman, unlike his brother* *gets a smack from Connor* and Connor *Flashes a dazzling smile at the fine ladies* Stoll. And we, along with the help of our dear dad, Hermes *Appears in front of them in a blinding flash* and our great siblings here *wave and flash evil smiles* will present you *drum roll and applause*

Awesome Ways To Annoy And Prank!

As you may have noticed, we had originally written 'Demeter Cabin' there but then Travis's girl- *Travis snatches the pen out of Connor's hand and clamps a hand over his mouth, then hits him*.

-But then Travis's _main prank victim_, Katie Gardener, came after us with _very_ sharp garden shears and pesticides, because she says that 'you guys are pests, pun intended'

So unfortunately, we aren't able to make this list for the Demeter Cabin, _but_ Katie never mentioned about this article _not_ being featured about her cabin. *laugh evilly in unison*

Awesome Ways To Annoy And Prank.

Cover the Demeter cabin roof with Easter Bunnies

Put grass eating slugs on their garden, roof, and every grassy area you find

Ask the Hecate cabin kids if one of them is the Good Witch of South

Ask Percy isn't he technically Little Mermaid Ariel's uncle, because her dad's Triton.

Ask the Iris children if they used to listen to 'The Rainbow Song' as kids

Tell Annabeth that Percy's actually her uncle

Tell Katie if she would like to grow a mistletoe on Christmas above her and me(the one and only Travis)

Ask Lou Ellen if she wants to play Got-Your-Nose

Ask Clovis if his nostrils can really fill twenty pencils, and then file him for the Guinness Records.

Ask Butch if he rides the Pegasus to the end of the rainbows

Ask Clarisse if she would like all her violent movies replaced with Dora The Explorer

Tell Ares his name rhymes with fairies

Fill the Demeter Cabin with cereal boxes

Tell Katie if she knew that singing Justin Bieber will cause all plants to shrivel up and die, and then play 'Baby' on full volume in her garden

Lie to Thalia and tell her if she aged normally, she'd be forty

Ask Jason if staplers are tasty

Paint little hearts all over Hades Cabin and skulls all over Aphrodite cabin, and then blame it on the other

Ask Nico if he wears dentures because he's technically over seventy

Ask Nico if his father's and angel because he's pale and his name means White from Angel

Ask Drew how she likes being a Plastic Bag

Tell Percy Annabeth joined the Hunters

Tell Annabeth Percy is now an Olympian

Ask Annabeth if she's dumb, because she's a blonde.

Tell Juniper if she's dependent on Apollo for life, because she has chlorophyll in her body rather than blood, or Demeter because she's technically a tree

Run away,_ very _fast before any of these try to pursue you, armed with deadly sharp weapons (metal watering cans thrown on your head from a distance of three cabins away can give you a short term memory loss. Personal experience)

Thanks to our friend from Athena Cabin, who likes to be called Chick With Brains for helping us and our dear siblings. And of course our dear dad, Hermes.

Travis and Connor Stoll, pranksters extraodnaire


	3. The talking plants club

The Talking Plants Club

D.O aka Demeter Olympian

K.G aka Katie Gardener

P.O aka Persephone Olympian

M.G aka Miranda Gardiner

* * *

P.O- Mum, the name sucks.

K.G- Agreed.

M.G-What about Greenzine?

D.O- Daughters, we are here to talk about plants and NOT about how bad my naming skills are. Miranda, that's my other plant magazine's name

K.G- Someone bothers to pick that thing up?

P.O- It's only use is when Hestia's out of firewood.

M.G- :-P

D.O-Persephone! Talk about your flowers. Miranda, Katie your strawberry tending. Talk about it

P.O- My flowers are used a lot in Hawaii. Can I go now?

K.G- The strawberry fields are growing nice. May I leave?

M.G- Same. Mum, I'm leaving

D.O- Persephone, Katie, Miranda! That's not the way. You can't leave. Talk about how you feel while gardening. The nice, warm and fuzzy feelings.

K.G- I will the seeds in the soil to grow and once they are out, I tend to them. I like gardening because I get to slam things at Travis when he's annoying.

M.G- Shears thrown from a distance have more effect than arrows, spears or javelins

P.O- This is getting boring. Here's something Hades sent me on Says he composed it himself and is worthy of Apollo

Sweet.

P.O-Flowers are red

Flowers are pink

Flowers are blue

Flowers are green

Flowers blossom

Flowers grow

Flowers impress

Flowers favour

K.G- Worthy of Apollo

M.G- Is being sarcastic when saying she appreciates it.

D.O- Pfft

P.O- Mum, I think we were supposed to talk about plants. Flowers are plants. I posted a poem about flowers, my work is done.

P.O- WANTS TO SING OFF!

K.G- Wishes to follow her sister's example

M.G- Has important work to do

P.O, M.G, K.G- ask for D.O's permission to sign off.

T.S- Demeter should have been the goddess of _boring_ people

D.O- Who dares to insult me!

C.S- Meow says the cat

D.O- Who ARE you?

K.G- Travis and Connor Stoll

T.S- Hi Katie darling

D.O- Darling? First Persephone, now you with Thief Guy!

M.G-Time out. How the heck did you access this?

C.S- Duh, Miranda, you're mother didn't wanted to waste paper and all that rubbish, so you're using _HermesChat_.com if you haven't realised, Hermes is our _**dad**_**. **We know about all the Chats going on Olympus at the moment and we can join them.

P.O- Knew something weird will finish this.

_P.O has signed out_

K.G- Eight thirty, woods. DON'T. BE. LATE.

_K.G has signed out_

M.G- Bye, O weird people.

_M.G has signed out_

D.O -Does not want to stay with weirdoes.

_D.O has signed out._

T.S, C.S-MWAHAHAHAHA.

_T.S and C.S have signed out._

- Screenshot sent by (1st link) K.G's picture (2nd link)

Demeter. Goddess Of Plants Hermes Mail . com

halfblood -directory . tumblr . com


	4. Apollo's award winning poetry

Apollo's world-famous, award winning,

Awesome poetry

_Award winning? Apollo, the only award you have won is of the most ear paining haikus_

Artemis, buzz off, this is my personal article, write in yours!

_Happy, annoying the poor readers!_

Anyways so this was my twin sister Artemis. She's just jealous because she does not know about the pure awesomeness I possess.

_What a joke_

As you can see, she won't go away until she gets to tease me till I finish writing. So let's get started.

I, Apollo the great Greek god of the sun, music, poetry, healing and archery _and idiocy_ will now present before you the EASY GUIDD _GUIDE_ TO AWESOME POETRY!

*applause* _and rotten tomatoes_

The first step is very easy, look for inspiration. _Wasn't that your excuse for watching my Hunters sleep yesterday?_ And if you don't find it, look for a place where you are sure to find. Like a garden or a forest or _my Huntress's camp_?

Exactly, those girls give me a lot of inspiration when I need it for romantic poems and songs.

_Apollo, do you know what romantic + MY huntresses=?_

Ask Athena?

_NO, it means a century's worth of target practicing, on you!_

'Arty goes angry! Arty goes angry! Arty goes angry!'

See, it rhymes

_Ηλίθιος. Αναρωτιέμαι γιατί Πατέρα Δία σας κάνει ο θεός της ποίησης ._

Wow, sissy you remember Greek.

_Idiot. Wonder why Father Zeus made you the god of poetry._

I _KNOW_ Greek.

_Now that's news to me._

Well anyways, enough of bicker-writing let's get to the topic. Arty, _don't call me Arty_ here says my haikus are very bad from which I totally dis_agree_. Arty don't cut with my pen, it seems like _I_ wrote that. _Oh but you do agree don't you?_

NO, I don't. So there are many types of poetry. Like acronyms and simple limericks or nice old hymns.

Rhyming- word poems are the simplest and also the most popular way of writing poems. In these, you just have to write about any random thing and the words should rhyme like-

I am Apollo, the god of sun,

And I know how to have fun

This is Artemis, the goddess of moon

And she hasn't me interrupted in soon

_Wow, Apollo I didn't know that you actually know something_

You know, some people believe me to be the god of knowledge.

_Well, I am not one of them._

Hardy har har.

_So, dear brother have some **non**- haiku poems for me?_

Eternal Virgin of the Starry Skies

The Beautiful Maiden of the Moon

The Mother that helps to give Life

The Huntress that traipse the Woods

She is the Maiden, Mother, Crone

The Guardian of Innocence

The Huntress of the Wild Forests

And the Mighty Protector

Lady Artemis,

Thou Beautiful Goddess of the Night Skies,

Reign forever as the Starry Queen

For as long as Night survives.

_Awww Apollo, that is so nice. Thanks._

You're welcome Artemis.

P.S- Will, get that down properly and cut the bickering and the parts the show me as dumb or stupid.

_Well, the whole page does except the poem. So listen to your dear aunt and don't do as your dad says._

**Alright, Aunt Artemis.**

_**Edited by Will Solace.**_


	5. Beaches of the world

**Beaches of the world**

**That have made to Poseidon's favourite list **

_Also Percy Jackson's_

**Yeah Percy here is my dear and only son**

And me?

**Yes, but you are immortal. I wrote my dear and only **_**mortal**_** son.**

_Dad, I used to be invincible**.**_

_**Used**_** to be.**

**Well anyways let's get started. There are many beautiful beaches in the world, some of which, I **_**accidently**_** destroyed.**

_Yeah, like many Japanese ones._

And Hawaiian ones.. 

Sorry, Mother's calling gotta go.

**I sincerely apologise to all those people who suffered. Hades was mad at me for increasing the traffic congestion in Asphodel. And Hestia wanted to use me as godly firewood for destroying so many homes. And Hera almost turned me into a peacock for separating innumerable families. Technically it was Amphitrite's fault. She hid my trident.**

**Are you fine to spend the night outside? Because I am locking the palace doors.**

**What the fish!**

_No problem-o Dad. You can always come over._

**No, actually I have the extra key.**

**So where were we, Percy? Yeah, the top wonderful beaches of the world.**

_So I'll start. Well, the competition was very tough because I love every single place called beach. But I think there are some beaches that ought to be awarded._

_Montauk- I really don't wanna explain why, because it's gonna take the whole magazine. Let's say if you know me you'll know why_

_Camp half blood beach- It holds many special memories. In fact, the lake is the one in which I and Annabeth first kissed_

**Ugh, Percy I really didn't need the details.**

_Well Dad those two are really my top favourite ones._

**Percy, anyways it's my turn, we decided that you say two, I say two.**

**Barcelona- Really, that place just fills sea lover's wishes. And the people –**

_Dad, do you want one mortal woman and one immortal woman after you, both very angry because when woman are angry it really doesn't make difference if they can die or not._

**Right.**

**Langkawi island- In my opinion that place is highly under appreciated. Located near the peaceful Malaysian coast, it is a place which I not even in my dreams would think to destroy**

Hey, Father, Can I too write?

**The magazine is for **_**demigods**_** and their godly parents. Are you a demigod?**

You mean, I am a demigod!? You're not sure?

**Just kidding, kid. Well, there's a 30% chance.**

Waawa! Mommy ! Daddy says I am a demigod !

**Okay. It's final, Poseidon. You. Are. Not. Sleeping. In. Tonight. And I asked Hermes to get the spare key from you.**

***Face open in horror* *gulps***

**Hey Perce. Do you mind if we have a father- son night out tonight?**

_Sorry, Dad. Annabeth 's coming over tonight._

**What's more important, Father or your girlfriend?**

_Girlfriend._

So I am stuck here calming down Poseidon as he cries like a baby. Article edited (meaning removing all of Percy's A.D.H.D kid mistakes) by R.E.D


End file.
